Why Your Kids Shouldn't Develop Their OWN Interests

Before I became a dad, I remember thinking that I wouldn't be the sort of parent that forces their kids to become carbon copies of them.  It's almost as if they had kids just so there were more versions of them running around the place.  How vain and self-absorbed would you have to be?


Taking Your Baby To The Match

One of the ways parents may do this is by foisting their own interests on their offspring.  I mentioned my interest in rugby league in the previous post.  At matches I have seen many babies cradled lovingly in their father's arms crying imploringly while he yells obscenities at the referee. 

I happen to think a stadium full of sports fans is not the best place for a baby.  But when you are ensuring he/she carries on the family legacy of fandom, it is never too early to swaddle them in the club's colours and take them along to the match.  I used to think this form of parenting was misguided and a bit sad in a way.  Now, I sort of understand.


Out Of My Depth

My three year old is developing an avid interest in machinery.  He is fascinated particularly by lawnmowers.  He constantly asks me questions about how engines work.  His questions are very rudimentary at the moment but I am already stretched to the limit when answering. 

Soon, my son will think I am stupid when I am stumped by his enquiries.  How can a grown-up not know about engines, he will think.  Because I have never bothered to find out.  Because I am not the slightest bit interested. 

Already he is developing his own interests.  They are different to mine.  This is slightly worrying for two reasons:

• How can we bond as father and son?  He will want to be shown how to strip an engine (is that even the phrase?!) and I won't be able to show him.  He will feel he lacks a strong father figure in his life and we will drift apart.

• Even if we get round the whole engine problem, what other interests could he develop that vary wildly from my own?  What nightmare performance would I have to sit through?  Please God, don't let him be into musicals!

Finding Their Own Way...Despite The Risk


At this point I recall my sporty dad, eyes glazed over as he sat through an interminable carol concert waiting to hear me pluck 'In The Bleak Midwinter' alongside my fellow guitar-novices back when I was 11.  His body remains bereft of musical bones but he was enthusiastic that I try everything.  Every involvement I had with sport was initiated by me, not him. 

I want my son to find his own way.  I don't want him to be a carbon copy of me.  I wouldn't wish that on anyone!  But it would be nice if our interests overlap at least a bit.  I'd watch him as Danny in Grease but I'd like to be able to talk about the Salford game in the bar afterwards!